A Little Quirky

Mikey just turned three or as he told someone yesterday, "I'm turning into three!" That boy has some cute turns of phrase that crack up his adoring mommy. My favorite one is, when asked how he's doing, he always replies, "I'm being good." And he usually is.

So, he has a few quirky speech patterns, but that's not what alerted us at first that Mikey might be just a little bit different than the "typical" kid. We filled out a form that our pediatrician has all of his patients do when they turn 18 months old. The First Words Project people at FSU's Autism Institute asked us to bring him in because they noted some "red flags" on this form. Thinking that they would see my talkative little guy in person and dismiss him as completely fine, I took him in to a lovely, loving lady named Vicki. She told me that day that she noted some issues with a lack of gaze shift. His eye contact was atypical; he was very object focused. They wanted to do more evaluations of him. Usually, Autism isn't diagnosed until age three, but this study is working to identify early symptoms and do early interventions to help children progress as well as they possibly can.

After more evaluations, they decided that if they were to diagnose early, he would be on the Autism Spectrum, maybe with Aspergers or PDD-NOS, but probably a high-functioning form. Mike and I were shaken and surprised. I won't go into our initial reaction, but we were clearly upset that our sweet boy might have a harder time in life than his peers. And to be honest, we were saddened that our son might not be all that we dreamed he would grow up to be and that our relationship with him might be awkward rather than the affectionate, close bond that we hoped for.

There was room for him in the Early Social Interaction project that First Words was conducting and we met Miss Patricia when Mikey was about 19 months old. She worked intensely with us, three times a week, giving me lots of tips and techniques about how to encourage him to look us in the eye, engage us in play, and break away from repetitive behaviors. It was amazing the progress we saw in him in the nine months we worked with her. I call her my angel and she really became a best friend during that time. Mikey and Celia adored her, and when we see her still at the First Words building for Mikey's monthly updates, he goes right up and hugs her and tells her what he's been up to. She glows with pride knowing that she had something to do with those glorious social interactions.

We're now in a once-a-week playgroup there where we continue to get tips. Something that has been remarkable about the groups that we've been in is that they have made me grateful for the energetic, talkative, bright, affectionate boy that Mikey is. When I see the other boys and girl in the groups who barely speak, who flap and scream, I realize that Mikey's symptoms are pretty minor. When he plays with his sister and cousins, he Plays with a capital P, baby! He sometimes would rather play on his own or gets pretty mesmerized by a particular toy. He might ask the same question over and over until he gets his way. But over all, he's a great friend. He's kind and loving and forgiving. He is the kid who runs after relatives when they leave to give them a hug and a kiss. He's the one who asks for a cuddle all day long. He plays hide-and-seek and loves to swing. He adores Lightning McQueen and Mater and can't watch Max and Ruby too many times. To call him anything less than "typical" just doesn't seem right. He's a preschooler through and through!

If this is the face of Autism, then I'm OK with it. I'm in love with it, in fact. The face of Autism has snowy-white puffy cheeks and big brown eyes. Its face is full of surprise and awe when opening gifts, no matter how big or small. It wakes up with a happy grin and bed head caused from wearing a Santa hat all night in March. That face lights up when his siblings enter the room after being away from them for a bit. The face of Autism gives the sweetest kisses, even if sometimes they miss the mark of Mommy's cheek. And that sweet face brings more joy to his parents than anyone can imagine.

He might be a bit quirky, but who isn't? I noticed on American Idol last night, one of the judge's favorites was described as quirky. Is it more quirky that my four-year-old picks her toes every time we take off her socks or that Mikey learned his ABC's when he was 18 months old? Is it more quirky that I actually enjoy cleaning out my kids' ears or that Mikey asks to watch the same episode of Krypto the Superdog for a week? It might be just as quirky as his dad's obsession with cookie dough Ben and Jerry's, right? Hmm...maybe he comes by his quirkiness honestly.

Mikey has started the evaluation process with a psychologist now that he's age three. She'll determine if and where he falls on the spectrum. For the longest time, I just wanted to therapy our way off the spectrum, but I'm feeling more at peace and more hopeful about what kind of amazing life this brilliant kid will have. I've been praying that he'll "overcome Autism" for awhile now, but I think I need to alter that prayer. Instead, I pray that he'll embrace the differences that this syndrome offers him, that he'll use the gifts that he has to their fullest, and that he overcome the social obstacles with grace and dignity. And I thank God for this adorable and precious son He's blessed us with. Happy third birthday, Mikey, or as he'll tell you now with pride, "I'm Miguel Collazo the Fourth!"