Confessions of a Guilty Mom Conscience

I recently saw a quote somewhere that I posted on Facebook that said something like the reason that we can become insecure is that we compare our private moments to the moments that others make public.  So, if I compare my DiGiorno pizza nights to the gourmet meal that you made once this year and mentioned on Facebook, I become insecure thinking that all I ever serve my family is processed frozen foods, while you are introducing your children to arugula, and they love it!  What I don't know is that you made mac and cheese from a box six out of the last seven days and the only thing close to a vegetable your child has eaten in the last month was some string cheese that had turned green in her lunchbox.  Now that would help my self-esteem!  More status updates about that, please!

So, because I love you all very much and want to make sure that you feel good about yourselves, here are some honest mothering moments that I'd like to openly confess here. 

When no one is looking, I let my kids eat things that fell on the floor.  Come on, they drop half of their lunch.  I can't afford to throw all of that away.

Xavier's diapers leak more than I'd like to admit.  I change his sheets and pants maaaaybe 25% of the time when that happens.  Maaaybe.

Sometimes, the kids have dessert after lunch.  Sometimes, Mike offers to take them off my hands to the ice cream store after that happens when he doesn't know that they've already partaken of said treat.  Sometimes, I just fail to mention it.  Soometimes, I do tell him, and we agree to do it anyway. 

The kids still sleep with sippy cups in their beds with water.  How often do those have to be washed?  It IS just water after all.

I laugh when my kids fart.

I give Xavier Cheerios about 18 times a day (only slight exaggeration) to contain him, entertain him, or calm him down.  Those cheeks and thighs don't maintain themselves.

When the baby naps, I regularly turn on Pocoyo and take a nap on the couch while it plays.  Pocoyo is surprisingly soothing and easy to fall asleep to.  On days when I don't turn the T.V. on, (I miss its glow) and feel compelled to brag about it...'cause it's pretty darn rare.

I bribe my children more often than I'd like to admit to behave at Target by buying them junk from the dollar section.  If I had just saved up all of those dollars, I'm sure I could make a decent dent in the national debt.

My two minute warnings turn into twenty if I get into a good conversation with another mom.  A two minute warning can also actually be thirty seconds if I'm in a hurry. 

Oh, and I REALLY laugh when the kids fart in the bathtub.

I'm sure I could go on and on, but I'm starting to feel insecure about deciding to make these confessions in the first place.  I'd be very pleased if you'd post a confession or two of your own and help improve my self-image.