Pepping Myself Up

Body image is a tough issue for lots of post-baby moms. I'm having a particularly tough time with it post-baby #3. About eight years ago, I started Weight Watchers and lost 30 pounds, and that's just about the amount I gain when I'm pregnant. So, I've gained and lost 30 pounds several times in the last few years. I haven't gotten back to my goal weight since before getting pregnant with Celia, but I've been close, like within 5 pounds. But man, now that I've got three kiddos, finding the time to exercise and finding the discipline to eat right has been REALLY HARD! My fantastic sister Beth has helped motivate me to exercise and we've both been doing the Thirty Day Shred for a while now. But somehow, while she's lost five pounds doing the DVD and detoxing, eating only really healthy things, I've managed to take off nothing, go on a cruise, eat whatever I want, get post-cruise vertigo, use that as an excuse to continue eating cookies, and be full of regret and remorse that I'm wearing a size that I'm unhappy about.

I'm not just blogging about this to whine, although getting it out of my system is theraputic and helpful. My hope is that I'll motivate myself through writing about it, and by making it public, maybe I'll get my wide rear in gear! No more excuses! The kids are not slowing me down from losing weight. They're there to help actually. I'm constantly in motion doing something for one of them. They are the biggest supporters of me doing my Thirty Day Shred. Celia and Mikey jump right in front of the T.V. and jump around with me. Celia calls me out when I'm cheating and not doing the moves right. Mikey gets on my back when I do push ups, trying to increase my metabolism. Xavier even tries to add an extra challenge by spitting up in the middle of my jumping jacks, so I have to run to him, wipe his face, and keep on moving. Thank you, Collazlings, thank you for caring. Also, if I'm really being a loving and nurturing mother, I'll set the example of what healthy eating looks like and feed them similarly. I bet they'd enjoy cooking dinner with me just about as much as baking brownies. It's time to start a new routine. As my old Weight Watcher's leader used to say, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." Time to shake it up!

And Beth rocks my socks! She has agreed to watch the fiesta trio every Wednesday morning starting this week so that I can go to my Weight Watchers meetings. Apparently, I really need that accountability. If a stranger isn't writing down my weight each week, I just don't stay on track. It's kind of like going to confession. You go and face the music, get some advice, and start fresh each time.

I know how it's done. I can do it. I've done it repeatedly before. And it feels SO AMAZING to look in the mirror and like what I see. Oh to feel my hip bones again! To get back into the scores of cute single-digit-sized pants hanging in my closet! To be able to do the crazy jump moves in level 3 of that DVD and not feel my belly jiggle for 10 minutes afterwards! It's so totally worth it. I'm worth it. My kids deserve to have a mommy who feels good about how she looks and who is strong and healthy.

And just one more thought on this whole body image thing...my extra rolls and jiggles and even the stretch marks are beautiful, too, because they are the result of bringing three of the most amazing kids ever born into the world. But I've got the amazing product that this amazing body has issued forth. I'm ready to enjoy them and myself again. I can do it. I will do it. Here I go!

A Day in the Life: Part 2

OK, Isa, here are the rest of my tips for Collazling care. I left off last time before lunch, I believe. They usually eat around 11:30 and order as if they're at Subway (that is if Subway offered PB&J). You can, of course, just tell them what they're going to eat, but at some point, I thought it was a good idea to give them choices. Yeah, that was a mistake. I do try to limit their choices to two things, but you can pretty much bet on the fact that one will choose turkey and cheese and the other will choose grilled cheese. Mikey's totally in love with peanut butter sandwiches right now, but seat him away from Celia and clean his hands well after he eats since Celia is allergic to peanuts. I always offer some sort of fruit with lunch, like an apple, apple sauce, a peach cup, etc. They will let you know what they like and don't like. I have not raised timid children. Sigh.

Did I mention in the last post that we've tried to limit T.V. to one show in the morning and one in the afternoon? Of course, you do whatever you need to do to get through the day. Some days, I break my own rule and set them up with a big long movie. Toy Story 3 counts as one show, right? But honestly, they've gotten really good at entertaining themselves by playing with each other. Give them Lightning McQueen, Mater, the random pink car that they call Sally (even though Sally in the movie is blue) and they'll be set for an hour, making up hilarious stories that usually involve getting new tires, going to the car wash, visiting CVS, and flying. They'll ask you go play. And if you say, "Wait a few minutes," Mikey will ask repeatedly if a few minutes is over yet. You'll politely tell him, "Not yet. I'll tell you when I'm ready," and he'll say, "I'll tell YOU when I'm ready." He doesn't mean to be rude. He just REALLY wants you to have as much fun as he is having with those cars. They're like toy crack to this kid. He can't get enough of playing with anything that Pixar has put out in the stores. I'm quite sure our purchases alone are keeping several Pixar workers employed right now. Some high ranking ones. But I digress...

The afternoons are a good time to double check on the baby and make sure that he's really breathing. Yes, he really does just sleep that much. He loves the swing and will sleep in it half the day. Mikey will ask you not to turn on the music. It's his Kryptonite. Playing baby swing music sends him into a tailspin. I can't explain it. Xavier also enjoys sleeping in the arms of anyone warm, in his swaddling blanket, in his car seat (in a moving car or not), in a crib, on a boat, with a goat, that kid will sleep anywhere. And with any amount of noise. He's unaffected. Just kiss him periodically and tell him he's a sweet boy. He'll be happy.

If you're planning an outing, please warn Mikey ahead of time of your plans. He's happy to go just about anywhere, but he likes to plan ahead. When I spring things on him, he revolts. If a revolt happens, give him a warning that he needs to calm down. Often all I have to do is warn him that a time-out is coming if he can't calm down on his own and count to three. If by three, he's not calm, he stands in a corner for three minutes. At the end of a time-out, he has to tell you why he got a time-out and say he's sorry to whomever the recipient of his wrong was. The same procedure goes for any rule breaking and for Celia, too. They usually respond well to this form of correction. The recipient of the apology should tell the penitent one that they forgive him or her. And yes, the sound of their little voices saying, "I'm sowwy," and "I forgive you," will cause you to put your hand over your heart at least.

When getting from the van to the goal venue, I always ask them to hold onto the stroller to stay safe. They will need to be reminded to look up to not hit their heads on sideview mirrors of vehicles in parking lots. Sigh. And they chase their tails.

If they ask you what poison ivy looks like, what lightning is, or to hear the "Ghostbusters" song, fell free to check You Tube or Google images, but check it privately first. I learned the hard way about the lightning thing. It was a little scarier than I anticipated for them. And yes, they do know the words to "Ghostbusters." Ask Aunt Beth.

They usually eat dinner around 6:00 and favorite foods include pizza, mac and cheese, quesadillas, scrambled eggs, and chicken nuggets. Oh and chicken and rice are popular especially when made by Aba Cha Cha Cha. We're working on variety in their diet though and would love for new things to be introduced. They ate and loved tilapia tonight! Who knew?! If they don't eat what's presented, please don't feel like you have to come up with something else. Neither of these kiddos is going to starve if they don't eat one meal.

Follow dinner with bathtime. Think like Mike to give them baths. Daddy is the bathmaster at our house. They'll tell you exactly how they like it if you ask them. Tooth brushing is next. Mikey totally doesn't get how to spit yet, but tell him to try anyway. Celia takes her Singulair; it's chewable. She gets a Pull-Up, and Mikey gets a diaper. If they ask for jabambas, that's just Collazo-ese for pajamas. And they like socks at bedtime. Oh, and yes, Celia will want to wear a bow and her pink Santa hat to bed. She calls it her sleeping hat. Quirky much?

Bedtime is around 7:30. They like to read three stories at bedtime. I'll bring some that are short, so you're not stuck reading The Polar Express for an hour. They sleep with their sippy cups filled with water and a few stuffed animals. OK, who am I kidding? They each sleep with about eight stuffed animals and I can't figure out how they fit in bed, too. But it keeps them happy. We say the Lord's Prayer, the Hail Mary, Glory Be and the bedtime prayer that starts, "Now I lay me down to sleep." Mikey has them all memorized, so if you aren't sure of some of them, ask him to say them for you. Even if you don't ask him to, when you're done saying them, he'll chime in, "Do you want to hear my prayer?" And he'll recite them almost perfectly. Well, instead of "...holy Mary mother of God," he says, "...holy Mary full of God," but he gets most of it right. Kiss them, hug them, tell them sweet dream and that you love them. Oh, and if you remember, tell them that Mommy and Daddy love them and will see them soon. Xavier just needs to be swaddled and to be given his pacifier (or nubbin) and turn on the white noise machine to heartbeat. He'll drift of ridiculously fast after his last bottle of the day, usually around 8:30.

If anyone wakes in the middle of the night, it's usually easy to get them right back to sleep. Celia wakes for a tissue, more water, her sleeping hat, or a blanket adjustment. Mikey might wake to ask for more water or to ask you to listen to his prayer. Xavier wakes for renubbinizing, i.e. just put his pacifier in his mouth and reswaddle him. These things usually only take a moment and they fall right back to sleep.

I hope this isn't an insulting amount of information. I know you are a mom yourself and have been here and done this. I also know that as a mom, you understand that moms worry. It helps me worry less knowing that you know more than you need to know about this trio of squirts. It helps even more knowing that you are their adoring aunt who loves them completely, unconditionally, and joyfully. They honestly are so excited about spending the long weekend with you all! They have no reservations, fears, anxieties at all. And so I don't either. My plan is to kick back on this cruise, enjoy sleeping as late as I want to, exercise when I want to, eat when I want to, do something when I want to, and nothing when I don't. I'll soak up the time to myself and with my husband and I'll love it with no worry about Celia, Mikey, or Xavier, knowing what caring hands they're in. And when I get back, I'll realize how much I missed them and I'll soak those guys up, too.

A Day in the Life

Mike and I are going on my first ever cruise next week! And we have his sister and brother-in-law to thank for taking care of the three musketeers while we're away. What an amazing gift! They're either extremely generous, big hearted, and courageous, or just crazy. Either way, I can't wait to have four uninterrupted nights of sleep, four days of no wiping of bottoms, noses, spills, or tears. FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isa asked for instructions and preferences the kids have, so look out, sis, here is a little slice of life in the Collazling world.

6:00-7:00 AM Xavier wakes for first feeding (5 oz. water+2.5 scoops of formula+0.3 mL gas drops) Try burping at the halfway point and again at the end. Wait for Homer Simpson-esque belch before proceeding to next step. We always change him right after a feeding or when our noses let us know that an unscheduled change is necessary. Smile at him. He'll grin a big toothless grin back at you. Swaddle him up and put him back down with the white noise machine for a bit more sleep if he woke at 6. If he woke at 7, he might like to stay up a bit and party with the big kids before going back down for a nap. Repeat feedings every three hours. Repeat smiles as often as you need a lift! I take them medicinally.

7:00-8:00 The aforementioned big kids will wake up, possibly chanting, "Mommy, mommy, mommy," in a strange, dirge-like tone. They'll need diaper/pull-ups removed and replaced with fresh dipaer/panties. Please feed these children breakfast or these sweet cherubs will quickly transform into ravenous beasts whose roars are worse than any T-Rex. These little omnivores prefer frozen waffles or pancakes, oatmeal, or cereal with half a banana or some sort of fruit. Our rule is no toys at the table, but their fingers are characters all their own. Please allow them to keep their fingers although it may mean that breakfast turns into dinner theater.

8:30ish Dress the cuties in whatever they'll wear. Xavier, of course will wear anything you put him in, but zippy sleepers seem to make him happiest. Mikey's pretty agreeable, but if you find that you're out of clean Lightning McQueen socks, there might be trouble. We've got three pairs, and one set that he might find acceptable that look like a racing flag. Celia will let you know what she wants to wear, and the choices will vary depending on whether you're dealing with Celia (who is sometimes emotional, prefers yellow, and wears pants or shorts with shirts). Curly is her alter ego who is always charming, obedient, and delightful. She prefers pink (although wears the purple sunglasses, not the pink ones) and really likes dresses. I'll send options for both girls. Both divas like to choose bows, which often don't match their clothes in the least. Just go with it.

Wow, it's only 8:30, and I'm exhausted typing this. Godspeed, Isa and Mark! Rest up before next week!

Between 8:30 and 11:30, we often run errrands, play around the house, watch one T.V. show. They currently prefer "Max and Ruby" on Nick Jr. or "Krypto the Superdog" on Boomerang. These monkeys are spoiled rotten by their overly indulgent mother who keeps these shows on the DVR and can pull them up at a moment's notice. In emergency situations, they're also happy with "Sponge Bob," which seems to be on some channel at all hours of the day. And, they associate Elijah with "Sponge Bob" since they've watched it with him at your house before, so anything Elijah thinks is cool, they'll be down with. He could put on C-Span and say it's cool, and they'd watch it with him all day.

Favorite types of play currently involve a lot of pretending and they'll make up their own games as they go. You might want to keep a cheat sheet of pseudonyms handy to keep up. As I've mentioned, Celia is often Curly. She has also renamed every member of the family. Mikey is sometimes known as Moreo, who must be named to rhyme with his Daddy Oreo. Mommy is Flower (aww, sweet, right?) And my favorite is Xavier's nickname: Orange Peach Apple. I guess one sweet fruit wasn't sufficient to represent just how adorable this baby is! Moreo and Curly are sometimes found in closets, scratch that, I mean in their secret agent hideout AKA any walk-in closet. Your walk-in closet is the size of their room though, so they may choose a smaller space. If you find half of your wardrobe spilled all over the closet floor, you have to understand, it was all in the name of rescuing someone in need of help.

Curly and Moreo are calling me to go help swing them now. I'll fill you in on lunch, time-outs, the dangers of You Tube videos about lightning and Google images of scars, and teach you important songs like "Put Your Milk in the Frigalator."

Have I told you lately that you're the bravest people on the planet?! You'll have earned your next vacation and then some after these four days.

A Great Catch

Xavier James Collazo is going to be an excellent husband one day. I know, I know. I'm his mother, and I think everything he does is wonderful, amazing, brilliant, adorable. Well, yes, that's true. But it's also true that this baby is truly remarkable. So, let me make a few remarks about this kid. I can tell already what kind of man he's going to be just by what kind of baby he is. So, if you have a baby girl right now, keep an eye on this little prince. You'll be wanting him to invite her to prom. I'll elaborate.

This boy is the happiest, sweetest kid. He smiles so easily. When his favorite girl walks in the room, he lights up and makes her feel like a queen.

But he's not one-dimensional. Xavier knows how to express his feelings, and he's not afraid to cry.

And what prince is worth dreaming about if he's not handsome? Man, this boy is a handsome one! Blue eyes, nice head of hair, and a body that won't quit (growing that is). He's got a great build, not too slim. He'll make a girl feel protected with his size one day.

Athletic? Of course he is! Have you seen this kid kick that plastic ball on the kick-and-play?! Whoa, Nelly! Look out, NFL.

He's got a great sense of humor, too. Right now his preference is for slap-stick comedy like Daddy swooping baby down low to the ground all of a sudden or being tickled. But the machine-gun-like laughter that shoots from that baby's mouth is gold. Who doesn't want a man who will laugh at her jokes or make her laugh?

If it's smarts that mean the most to you, then look no further. Xavier may not be doing quadratic equations yet, but he's got intelligent eyes and follows everything that is going on. He'll be at the top if his class. I'm sure of it.

Oh, and he's easy to please. Feed him a little something you mix up with whatever you've got around the house, and he's happy as can be. He'll gaze at you like you hung the moon.

I'm quite sure he'll grow into a man who just goes with the flow. Right now he's happy to travel long distances without complaint, go shopping with me, or just hang around the house. It's all good. So long as his best girl is happy, he's happy.

OK, sure, all of this is just speculation, but it does seem like personalities show themselves early on in childhood. So, if my extrapolations are correct, moms, you should be trying to set up a betrothal to my son right away. He's going to be quite the catch!

Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper

When I think of the thousands of dollars represented by all of the oft-ignored toys piled in the kids' rooms, I wonder why we continue to do it when Celia and Mikey are currently playing with a variety of unopened cookie sprinkles who they have named Lela and Clara. They're having all kinds of adventures. Cost of sprinkles? $2.50. Not bad...except that they're replacing the seventy-nine adorable dolls on the shelf. I guess it's better for them to explore this imaginative effort than to make use of the Wizard of Oz collection that I obsessed over for a couple of weeks, eating disgusting Happy Meals to collect, and spending more time that I'd like to admit on eBay. Sigh.

But my very favorite game that these two are currently fond of is a game I simply refer to as "hands." Since there is a no-toys-at-the-table policy, they've resorted to turning their hands into characters who talk and play with each other when the meal is less than exciting to them. There's a Daddy hand who often calls the Celia hand on the phone. I need to pay more attention to what goes on in these ridiculous conversations, but generally, I've moved on to washing dishes or something slightly productive while their meal goes into hour twelve. If we're not in a hurry, I just let them engage in these adorable shenanigans because, come on, how cute and creative is that!

Another frequent mealtime game that they've invented that requires no toys is played in restaurants when awaiting our food's arrival. It's called Mrs. Pepper and Mr. Salt. I think they're a married couple who have insightful conversations with each other like, "Hey Mr. Salt, how are you doing today?" "I'm being good. Mrs. Pepper, do you want ice cream?" It's more clever than playing soccer with a balled up straw wrapper that ends up on the floor after a few attempts on goal, so I'm totally happy to let them have their fun. I'm waiting for them to discover the Splenda packets so the happy couple can have babies.

My point is that I need to settle the heck down with all the toys. They don't NEED them at all! I've heard many a parent remark that their kids are happier with the boxes that the gifts came in on Christmas morning, so why do we keep killing ourselves to get the perfect gifts? My theory is that cameras and scrapbooks are the culprit. I've posed so many pictures, dressed the kids in particular colors, and given them certain gifts with my scrapbook in mind. "Oh won't it be cute if Celia gets a Cabbage Patch Kid for Christmas? It'll be so adorable for that pink paper with the candy canes. Ooh, I'll title it Baby Love. Yes, she'll love it!" Celia tried unsuccessfully a few days ago to give that very doll to her cousin Leah. Leah didn't want it either. When will I ever learn? She'd rather have a toilet paper tube that she can draw a face on. Note to self: Start saving toilet paper rolls for next Christmas.

A Little Quirky

Mikey just turned three or as he told someone yesterday, "I'm turning into three!" That boy has some cute turns of phrase that crack up his adoring mommy. My favorite one is, when asked how he's doing, he always replies, "I'm being good." And he usually is.

So, he has a few quirky speech patterns, but that's not what alerted us at first that Mikey might be just a little bit different than the "typical" kid. We filled out a form that our pediatrician has all of his patients do when they turn 18 months old. The First Words Project people at FSU's Autism Institute asked us to bring him in because they noted some "red flags" on this form. Thinking that they would see my talkative little guy in person and dismiss him as completely fine, I took him in to a lovely, loving lady named Vicki. She told me that day that she noted some issues with a lack of gaze shift. His eye contact was atypical; he was very object focused. They wanted to do more evaluations of him. Usually, Autism isn't diagnosed until age three, but this study is working to identify early symptoms and do early interventions to help children progress as well as they possibly can.

After more evaluations, they decided that if they were to diagnose early, he would be on the Autism Spectrum, maybe with Aspergers or PDD-NOS, but probably a high-functioning form. Mike and I were shaken and surprised. I won't go into our initial reaction, but we were clearly upset that our sweet boy might have a harder time in life than his peers. And to be honest, we were saddened that our son might not be all that we dreamed he would grow up to be and that our relationship with him might be awkward rather than the affectionate, close bond that we hoped for.

There was room for him in the Early Social Interaction project that First Words was conducting and we met Miss Patricia when Mikey was about 19 months old. She worked intensely with us, three times a week, giving me lots of tips and techniques about how to encourage him to look us in the eye, engage us in play, and break away from repetitive behaviors. It was amazing the progress we saw in him in the nine months we worked with her. I call her my angel and she really became a best friend during that time. Mikey and Celia adored her, and when we see her still at the First Words building for Mikey's monthly updates, he goes right up and hugs her and tells her what he's been up to. She glows with pride knowing that she had something to do with those glorious social interactions.

We're now in a once-a-week playgroup there where we continue to get tips. Something that has been remarkable about the groups that we've been in is that they have made me grateful for the energetic, talkative, bright, affectionate boy that Mikey is. When I see the other boys and girl in the groups who barely speak, who flap and scream, I realize that Mikey's symptoms are pretty minor. When he plays with his sister and cousins, he Plays with a capital P, baby! He sometimes would rather play on his own or gets pretty mesmerized by a particular toy. He might ask the same question over and over until he gets his way. But over all, he's a great friend. He's kind and loving and forgiving. He is the kid who runs after relatives when they leave to give them a hug and a kiss. He's the one who asks for a cuddle all day long. He plays hide-and-seek and loves to swing. He adores Lightning McQueen and Mater and can't watch Max and Ruby too many times. To call him anything less than "typical" just doesn't seem right. He's a preschooler through and through!

If this is the face of Autism, then I'm OK with it. I'm in love with it, in fact. The face of Autism has snowy-white puffy cheeks and big brown eyes. Its face is full of surprise and awe when opening gifts, no matter how big or small. It wakes up with a happy grin and bed head caused from wearing a Santa hat all night in March. That face lights up when his siblings enter the room after being away from them for a bit. The face of Autism gives the sweetest kisses, even if sometimes they miss the mark of Mommy's cheek. And that sweet face brings more joy to his parents than anyone can imagine.

He might be a bit quirky, but who isn't? I noticed on American Idol last night, one of the judge's favorites was described as quirky. Is it more quirky that my four-year-old picks her toes every time we take off her socks or that Mikey learned his ABC's when he was 18 months old? Is it more quirky that I actually enjoy cleaning out my kids' ears or that Mikey asks to watch the same episode of Krypto the Superdog for a week? It might be just as quirky as his dad's obsession with cookie dough Ben and Jerry's, right? Hmm...maybe he comes by his quirkiness honestly.

Mikey has started the evaluation process with a psychologist now that he's age three. She'll determine if and where he falls on the spectrum. For the longest time, I just wanted to therapy our way off the spectrum, but I'm feeling more at peace and more hopeful about what kind of amazing life this brilliant kid will have. I've been praying that he'll "overcome Autism" for awhile now, but I think I need to alter that prayer. Instead, I pray that he'll embrace the differences that this syndrome offers him, that he'll use the gifts that he has to their fullest, and that he overcome the social obstacles with grace and dignity. And I thank God for this adorable and precious son He's blessed us with. Happy third birthday, Mikey, or as he'll tell you now with pride, "I'm Miguel Collazo the Fourth!"